Kidney Stone

(To the tune of “Take Me Home Country Roads”)

Copyright © 2010 Kevin Ahern


Early morning

In the bedroom

Doin’ yoga

When I felt the twinge

That’s a new one

Is it some disease?

Back behind the liver

Stabbing my kidneys


Kidney stone

Makes me groan

On my knees

Then I’m prone

“Help me someone

Get a doctor”

This I moan

Kidney stone


At the clinic

Think I’m dying

Forms are filled out

Life before my eyes

Almost lose it

Saying my goodbyes

Could it just stop hurting?

What would he advise?


Kidney stone

I bemoan

That it has

Ever grown

Tiny blockage

Monster problem

From my own

Kidney stone


And then the doctor says some words that roll off sweetly

Prescription drugs will help until this thing moves out of me

The wonderful narcotics put the pain away ‘til it can go and pass itself urethrally, urethrally.


Kidney stone


Now I stand

At the throne

Hope to catch it

With a strainer

For my lone

Kidney stone


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