The Sad Story of Thad
(to the tune of “The Beverly Hillbillies Theme Song”)
Copyright © 2013 Kevin Ahern
This Metabolic Melody was inspired by a newspaper article I read about a North Dakota farmer who discovered oil
in his fields as a result of a leaking oil pipeline. It immediately occurred to me that this was a modern day Jed Clampett story.
I sat down and the ideas here flowed very easily. The farmer became an Alaskan Inuit and the story gained a message.
I hope it's not too heavy - I tried to keep it light.
You've gotta hear the story of the Inuit named Thad
A boat and a gun were the only things he had
One afternoon, while shootin’ at some food
His shot hit a pipe and began to spill crude
Oil spill, black mold, Prudhoe tea
Ole Thad realized that he didn’t have a prayer
Exxon told him “move away from there!”
Said “keep it secret if you know what’s good for you”
So he packed up his stuff and escaped by canoe
Far away. No swimmin’ pools. No movie stars
Paddling up the coast, Thad had a major scare
Came face to face with a scruffy polar bear
Swimming desperately, it was like a drowning rat
The ice floes a-melting destroyed its habitat
Warming. Globally. Northwest passage
Yes, the two of them - were a very homeless pair
Moving to the north they skedaddled out of there
A hundred miles further was a sight that gave them pause
Unemployed elves who had worked for Santa Claus
Little guys. Real sad. Little guys
The elves said the problem just was out of their control
Claus was no longer at the pole
The weather getting warmer turned November into May
So they couldn’t make toys for the next Christmas day
Bad news. Real bad news.
Now the moral of this story should be obvious to you
It’s time for the taking of a grander world view
The energy we’re using has a very hefty price
Ask Thad and the elves and the bear without ice.
Y’all get that now, ya hear?
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